Back to Singapore...

Its been almost 2 months since I got back to Singapore..

After I left Sweden, I went on to travel Scotland..Glasgow, Edinborough, Highlands..and also England..London, Lake District..and also Athens..Santorini..Oia...

Lovely memories there...and after all that has happened...I wish I did not come back to Singapore after all...

No words can describe how I feel right now...I should have listened to myself and just pull out before it was too late...I knew how the outcome was going to be like..and I knew that I couldn't handle another rejection from odac..but I still carried on fighting this pointless battle that was doomed from the start...Looking back at things...I feel like an idiot for allowing myself to pit against this losing battle...I still do not know why I subjected myself to this...Is it worth it?? I was willing to make sacrifices...nobody wanted to give me a chance...now there will be no more chances for me...and I will live with this regret forever...I will graduate with the regret of not being able to accomplish and achieve things I set out to do before I enter the working force....no amount of comforting words will cure me...I will allow time to heal me...but I guess it will take me a long long long time...After going through this...I saw who my real friends were...and I appreciate them for standing by me and giving me support...but on the other hand..there are people whom I would never want to see again...I am not a sore loser...but if things were played fairly..I may not be feeling as bad now...I just hope I will pass this phase and be a happier person...As of now..I just feel like an incompetent loser...someone who can't hold her head up high after being rejected in front of who knows how many people.....

I just wanna say thanks one more time to all those people who are standing behind me...thanks..

For now..I have decided to leave odac..no matter how attached I have become to it...no matter how sad I feel that I am going to leave it...I have to make this decision to lessen the painful emotions I am going through now....goodbye odac...I will miss you...